Ford Pinto. Ford Bronco. Ford Focus. Ford Explorer. Chevy Vega. Chevy Citation. Chevy Chevette. Chevy Corvair. AMC Pacer. AMC Gremlin. Plymouth Volare.
It doesn’t get much worse than that when trying to put together a Top 10 list of the Worst Cars Ever Built in this universe, or any universe not yet found. Some of these cars have maimed and killed people. Those not maimed or killed probably wanted to die rather than deal with the incessant and insidious problems associated with these vehicles.
What’s odd is not that American carmakers built these cars, but that Americans kept buying them knowing they were dangerous or likely to leave them stranded. Oh well, it’s nothing that a lawsuit can’t solve. Can you say, “Rollover?”
If there’s any good news it is that AAA and the aftermarket cashed in on those unfortunate or foolish enough to buy one of these pieces of junk.
But I digress, my Top 10 list is just the tip of the antenna. Detroit has consistently built cars that are inferior to just about any other cars built around the world with the obvious exception of the Yugo, but it’s not as if Detroit didn’t try to outdo the Yugo. Come to think of it the Yugo didn’t explode.
Every so often, though, Detroit has teased us unmercifully by building a car that reeks with promise only to drive us off the cliff again. Most recently, the Ford Focus, which as you have noted, is on my list. Drive one and you’ll think that Detroit doesn’t always put its underwear on over its pants. It offers a supple, but controlled ride, brisk acceleration and linear braking. German-like, if you will.
That’s the test drive. When driven off the dealership lot, it suddenly becomes possessed with the ability to stop running no matter how much you pray, plead, scream, cuss or cry. It’s like having the best security system in the world –– no one can drive it because it can’t be started.
Or at least that was the first few years of the Focus’ existence. It seems this car was displaying so many problems that Ford Chairman and CEO William Clay Ford, Jr. realized that even the slickest marketing wasn’t enough to deceive the stupidest of the stupid. Apparently, in a fit of automotive fundamentalism, or just plain embarrassment, he directed his engineers to cut their four-year lunch break short and straighten out the Focus’ problems. Today, Consumer Reports ranks it the top small car by a slight margin over the Honda Civic, Toyota Prius and Toyota Corolla.
Chrysler and GM also have been shamed into the quality quest. For the first time in 24 years, the average American car (Chrysler, GM and Ford) is more reliable than the average European car, according to Consumer Reports. As outrageous as that sounds, it’s true. Consumer Reports found that American cars accounted for an average of 18 problems per 100 vehicles, while the hotsy, totsy European marques, including Mercedes-Benz, BMW and Audi averaged 20 problems.
Of course, the Japanese carmakers thumped everybody with its 12 problems per 100 cars.
But when it came to the most reliable family sedan over a three-year period, it wasn’t the host of the usual suspects –– the Camry, Accord or Maxima –– that won bragging rights. It was that ol’ pushrod favorite –– the Buick Regal. Consumers who consistently answered “no” to Buick’s old advertising slogan –– “Wouldn’t you really rather have a Buick?” –– might want to rethink their answer.
From the aftermarket perspective, I have to ask: have we reached the point where we can’t count on carmakers to make it easy to sell parts for their faulty vehicles?
Nah! I’m betting at least one carmaker has another Vega, Pinto or Gremlin in the works. Plus, I think there might be a statute of limitations on shame. Or is that sham?
